Club Brown

i wish i were someone else entirely some days, most days. Yes it is Thursday and yes i went to lunch with my boss the new Mr Jetson in his hybrid car, to a vegetarian place and he tried to give me a hard time for not ordering a taco salad Vegan. i went with the cheese. I really wanted Pizza.

so is moke a negative term? I looked it up and it was everything i wish i were today.

1. moke:
Anyone (Usually of Hawaiian ancestry) who actively participates in one or more of the following moke activities-
Surfing
Bodyboarding
Bodysurfing with McDonalds Tray
Hawaiian Canoe Paddling
Driving a Lifted Pickup
Listening to Reggae/Jawaiian Music
Playing an ukulele
Stealing shoes/slippahs
Smoking Weed
- There is one mandatory qualification though… For one to be a full fledged “moke”, one must be well versed if not fluent in pidgin English

Ho, Brah… U such a moke, cuz…

2. moke:
Hawaiian pidgin for: a big local “braddah”
Someone from Hawaii that is most or all of the following:
Hawaiian or Hawaiian mixed
Big!!!
Likes to scrap
Likes to drink
Drives a truck
Works construction
Longboards, bodyboards, or bodysurfs
Loves Hawaiian music
Loves to eat
Hates haoles
Goes offroading
Goes hunting (for wild pigs)
Owns a pitbull (or some other bad-ass dog)
Works Security/Bounces
Has a “Proud to Be Hawaiian” sticker on his truck
Cruises at da beach on his day off
Lives in “da country” outside of the city
- Wut, you going Waianae side? Watch out get plenny mokes out dea! No act dumb!! All da mokes wen chase me outta da watah!!

3. moke:

A person (usually with an ethnic background consisting of Hawaiian, Filipino, and/or Japanese. And in some very rare cases Caucasian) who is a local of one of the Hawaiian islands. Is extremely profound and in most cases, fluent in the use of “pidgin” language. These people usually have an IQ of 50 but make up for it with their ability to talk a lot of trash. They engage in a lot of trash talk, and usually have nothing to back it up. They enjoy getting into fights at school and hoping that it will gain them many popularity points. Their “fights” are mostly pushing around and yelling the phrase “wat ‘chu faka” out loud many times and are broken up extremely quickly. Many mokes may look tough but are actually very sensitive. If you joke about them, they threaten you, if you look at them they get pissed very quickly, and if your a white person, they will call you a “haole” and tell you to get out of Hawaii. Mokes believe that the white man took over and degraded Hawaii when really, the white man helped modernize Hawaii.
They also have low-income familys. Which probably explains why they can’t speak proper English. Which makes it very hard to understand them

Moke: What ‘chu faka? Like scrap?

person: Do I know you?

Moke: Faka, you teasing me?

person: Who the hell are you?

Moke: psh, faka you not worth it brah. *walks away*

person: Jeeze, he’s such a moke I swear. *shakes head*