Club Brown

Getting gifts is the hardest thing to do. I can give them all day long. Gifts of money hard earned and time and attention and listening ear and what ever you need I can dish it out. But Man oh Man I have a hard time getting stuff.
We just had a baby shower yesterday and so many people bought us the coolest things ever and I am so thankful for it all. I tried to thank every one and let them know how really grateful I am, we are, for all of the things. I critique my self I say think you and then I think oh that didn’t sound sincere enough because I really am thankful.
Pet peeve of mine and there are more and more as I age, but a big pet peeve is when some one Thanks insincerely. I have a friend I help ALL THE TIME and he used to say thank you like it was something he was required to say and I would get so pissed off. I was like man you could care less, you really could. One of these days I wanna just not show up when you need me and leave you butt high and dry and then we’ll see yeah huh? Then we’ll really know what’s up. But then I am glad this rant just went on in my head and didn’t come out my mouth. I tell my self yeah see on some twisted level you are doing what you do for you Daine. It has nothing to do with helping others really. You are sick and twisted and the only way to love your self is through personal sacrifice.
My friend has gotten better at sounding like he means it when he thanks me.  But it s still a peeve of mine, and I wanted to make sure I did not sound like a spoiled child being asked what I wanted for supper. I think this is the main reason it is hard to get gifts. That and I know how much all this crap costs. I scanned every thin on the list and I am like seriously don’t spend money, gas is too expensive and you’ll gonna need it. I thought about what I scanned on the registry too. What do I scan? What do I scan? I should only scan the things we really need. Not exaggerated and or expensive gadgets and yes where have you been under a rock? They have ALL KINDS of expensive gadgets for babies these days. Not necessarily for babies but for their parents. So I tried not to go to far over board and stuff but still felt like I was overdoing it by the end. I keep saying to my self “no the baby does not need this thing (what ever it is). Will the baby die if it does not have this thing? No. and all the millions of babies in the world have lived with out it, she’ll be fine.

This kind of thing in addition to all the regular pre parenthood anxiety are what make these dark circles and bags under my eyes.
A lady at work today said wow you look like you have a good weekend. I said um what do you mean? She said dear have you seen your face.
I was thinking to my self was I smiling too much, I mean my parents are in tow n and we did see Betty and Matt on their move over the weekend but that was pretty sedate. She said No you just look tired, you look like you have been hit with a Mack truck.
I wanted to punch her in the front teeth but I just buried it and went on to my office with my coffee, thinking I will leverage the contents of this cup in my favor, he he he.