I hate it when I am affected. When I am stressed and want to punch a freaking hole in the wall, or when I am fully aware that I have too much on my plate or it hits me I need to be a responsible person and all I really want to do is selfish stuff I don’t have time for; one of two things always tends to happen. Either I will crack to the ego be a man, be all hard, say something I’ll regret as soon as it has left my lips, OR I’ll feel the pressure know I need to deal with it, not deal with it hear a sappy song and cry.
I have been trying to be strong, trying to ward off feeling of wanting to quit wanting to give up, wanting to pack my bags and head for the ‘Ozark’ hills even though I know there is nothing there for me. Trying to please the list of people I want to think highly of me. Trying to be a good husband, Papi, friend, employee, volunteer, citizen, driver, drummer, leader, energy conserver, home owner, decision maker, recruiter, spreadsheet compiler, and graphic designer all while watching my portions and sugar intake. I feel like I am failing at least 50% of my list at least 50% of the time. The one thing I am afraid of is failing. I know I haven’t been given more than I can bear, just not very good at asking for help. Not help from any of you; I am talking over you now.
So sitting at my desk this morning, not well, I asked for something. Some release, a sappy song, some Celine Dion, Some help. Please give me something to help me push through this most stressful of weeks.
Get ready to hear Zach laughing all the way from Santa B.
OK so Mercy Me has this song I heard while shopping at Marshalls for nothing the other day.
Watch the video and then picture me feeling sorry for myself with my office door closed having what I like to refer to as a shower moment. As in – get out of here I am cleaning myself and there is nothing flattering about this.
Have a good laugh. I feel better.