This is not my Christmas list. I have not been this good.

My Grandpa Branham had a truck like this I don’t know if his was a 65 or a 66 but I am pretty sure I need one. That relaxed sense of self awareness just goes with a vehicle like this. It is not for commuting in or driving in the city.
It is for topping out at 60mph and pulling on the hard shoulder to let people pass.

30stick humidor that is a water tight otter box. Win win, and when you decide cigars are bogus, you have a cool hand gun case and when you get your gun rights swiped, even though you said “Swipper no swiping” you have a cool humidor again.

Grandpa also had a hat like this. Yeah I want one. I am a grandpa kick.

Check out my last few songs of play list.
George Strait ‘if I know me’
Clay Walker ‘this woman this man’
Tracy Lawrence ‘if you loved me’
Diamond Rio ‘Love a little stronger’
Alan Jackson ‘tonight I climbed the wall’
Mark Collie ‘Something’s Gonna Change Her Mind’
Clint Black ‘burn one down’
Toby Keith ‘ wish I didn’t know now’
George Straight ‘ I can still make Cheyenne
Clint Black ‘loving blind’
Other stuff Sammy Kershaw, Neil McCoy Brooks and Dunn…
Then throw in P.M. Dawn’s ‘I’d die without you’ Random.
Wow, what a morning.
I hear these songs and I am instantly transported back in time say 1996-97. I miss Lara ‘the queen’ and ‘Shiny-white-Reeboks’ Josh, Lisa, my pretty girl friend with the cool dolphin sticker on her red Nissan, Billy bob Joe Jackson something something jr. aka Bill, Jake and his red truck,. You are all still my friends too, but you are all better looking now.
I remember fondly working at Pizza Hut, delivering people’s pizza before they could blink twice. I had the best car ever, my Nissan Sentra SE-R. Once I lent it to Bubba (Otis Lee for you outsiders) to take someone out to supper. I had to drive his old Chevy truck. I lost money that night I had to put gas in it twice. I remember thinking that the long horn sticker on the back made it look even cooler. Now that I live in Austin and everyone except me has a long horn on their car, not so much.
Funny thing is, as warm as my memories are of this period, I would not like to go back there and relive any of it.
Love you all
MDB

I hate it when I am affected. When I am stressed and want to punch a freaking hole in the wall, or when I am fully aware that I have too much on my plate or it hits me I need to be a responsible person and all I really want to do is selfish stuff I don’t have time for; one of two things always tends to happen. Either I will crack to the ego be a man, be all hard, say something I’ll regret as soon as it has left my lips, OR I’ll feel the pressure know I need to deal with it, not deal with it hear a sappy song and cry.
I have been trying to be strong, trying to ward off feeling of wanting to quit wanting to give up, wanting to pack my bags and head for the ‘Ozark’ hills even though I know there is nothing there for me. Trying to please the list of people I want to think highly of me. Trying to be a good husband, Papi, friend, employee, volunteer, citizen, driver, drummer, leader, energy conserver, home owner, decision maker, recruiter, spreadsheet compiler, and graphic designer all while watching my portions and sugar intake. I feel like I am failing at least 50% of my list at least 50% of the time. The one thing I am afraid of is failing. I know I haven’t been given more than I can bear, just not very good at asking for help. Not help from any of you; I am talking over you now.
So sitting at my desk this morning, not well, I asked for something. Some release, a sappy song, some Celine Dion, Some help. Please give me something to help me push through this most stressful of weeks.
Get ready to hear Zach laughing all the way from Santa B.
OK so Mercy Me has this song I heard while shopping at Marshalls for nothing the other day.
Watch the video and then picture me feeling sorry for myself with my office door closed having what I like to refer to as a shower moment. As in – get out of here I am cleaning myself and there is nothing flattering about this.
Have a good laugh. I feel better.

My lovely wife and daughter came back Sunday night after being at Abuelita’s the better part of a week.
Sunday was also her 31st birthday. Isaac went with me to pick up her birthday present and made me laugh. The gift was a hit and as is my every so often I brought her flowers yesterday. One attorney from the office swears I am having an affair.  Don’t worry it isn’t her boss.
I just shake my head. We were talking about affairs and the people that have them the other day and then thinking about what type a person you generally have an affair with. See we recently had a rash of breakups amongst us. Some per Affair and some per Um now is better than affair later with kids and single parent-dom.  It has me thinking if I were to have an unfaithful disloyal bone in my body (not a pun). What type of person would she be? So I made a list of what I am looking for. So here goes. Um well first I’d pretty much want her to be awesome for it to be worth it. She’d have to love Jade. She’d have to like my Mom and Dad and if she was friends with my sister that would be cool too. And Spanish, that would be a big plus. She has to let me be myself. I have a balance now so yeah I’ll still need that, so someone with a level head to keep me from spending all my money on Propane and propane accessories’. And she’d have to be pretty astounding on like six or seven different levels that I can’t really discuss in mixed company. I’d also like her to be about 5’3ish and sorry blondes I am into Brownies so um yeah… looks like id choose one pretty much just like I already have. So I’ll save myself the trouble of bothering to go there and do that and catch that!
It is sad when a guy can’t be in love and show it for fear of being accused of unfaithfulness.  I say buy her flowers and treat her like you treat your momma if you treat your momma nice.
Sop up all this love slobber with this video!

I believe in being myself and being real and letting the chips fall where they may. Not on the carpet because they can leave grease spots. I like individuality, but I’d still buy a silver Toyota and blend into the fray. Maybe even listen to the Fray. I’d say buy American but I wouldn’t. I moved away and the idea of disappearing and not disappointing was so refreshing. No one knows D.C. here and expects me to be him. HA jokes on me. The islands are looking more appealing all the time. that is not a threat. i don’t threaten. it is just an observation.

I hate feeling sick to my stomach over the thought i have let you down.

So I have this obsession. I like products with logos. I collect crap adorned with random company logos.
I have a pint glass from Hogs Breath Saloon in Key west. Funny Bone glasses from an out of business joint in Kansas City, A pint from Maria’s in Springfield, Duluth Pack nalgene. I had a Jax nalgene till I lost it and an old shot glass for a Mexican brand of Tequila. I also have a couple glasses from Kens Pizza, a pizza Chain that was bought by Mazzios. But the best of my mix and match printed glass ware is a sweet challis, from the Lambda Chi Alpha, Home coming 1969, done in carnival glass. It is a full 20oz and is so stinking cool.
Why am I telling you all this.
I think it would be great fun to have a branding company. A Graphic design company that not only came up with cool designs but looked at items the company already has and uses and what out of these items could be replaced with better products I could provide.
So Sunday I stopped off at Cabelas and I am doing a casual walk through of the clearance items looking for something specific, and I spot this cooler.
I know I ice chest whoop tee doo! I love to tube and I love to do volunteer work at the church, but in the Texas heat both things require a cold beverage to be ready at hand. My coolers are both crap. Well one that I used Saturday was anyway. There was this cooler called a Yetti. It was huge I was in love and so I took a brochure. Come to find out they are made right here in Driftwood. They are the best cooler you can buy I am in love I want one. Then I am on their website and they will do a Custom logo appliqué. So now I am on a quest to find a yeti cooler that has a logo. Maybe even a club-brown logo. At any rate if I did have my branding company and I needed to sell an ice chest to someone I would use this company.
That is all.

“It is wrong
It is just plain wrong for a person to profit from some one else name.”
That is what the commentator said right before interviewing me for a show. I was like “the gall. And the pot calls the kettle black.” He blinked blankly back at me as if I weren’t making any sense. “You idiot, you think I am going to sit here and let you tell me what and what for? You got another thing coming.” I think he was so stunned no one said anything as I stood up untucked my shirt they insisted I tuck in and walked off the little stage, and straight out the door. I hate the 700 club and why had I even come here for an interview? I don’t need them, and of all the things to say at the start of an interview. Jerry Fallwell would have more tact. Good lord.  As I got in my car to leave I felt something at my back.  Yep I had taken their wireless microphone and I hope it was still on recording my mutterings all the way out of the place.
That is how my week started. All this fall-de-rall over some one making Jesus action figurines’.
I don’t care their cool. I don’t do figurines but heck why not if your into dust collectors and crap like that buy a “Jesus playing soccer with a young boy” item number 343356 if you want and why do I care if the Christian book store has them for sale or not.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how many tie s you say it. I am Jesus’ brother. I was born when he was like 29 and I didn’t really know him.  We weren’t close or anything.
OK I am sorry; I said all that to say this. When you are not famous but your siblings are or in my case were the media is always gonna make you  out to be an idiot. And I hate it.
Case in point; Other than Janet or Michael (may he rest in peace) who of the other Jackson family is worth their salt huh? None of them. The Kardashians? Or however you spell their name. I mean if you wanna call Kim the famous one, what do the other kids have? The fat one is funny but um nothing. I mean I am sure these people are fine in their own right but don’t film them and make them look all stupid. The famous siblings shit smells just as bad and if they can piggy back a shoe designing career off your singing or sex tape with famous guys fame more power to them I say.
Someone make s a Jesus Action figuring and I am supposed to be upset that I didn’t think of that. Please.  That is not me. I don’t own the rights to his name; I am just his baby brother.

So I swear I am going to start some blogging again.
My lasts two posts I went back and read and good lord I seem to be depressed.
I swear I am not.
I still have not had that vacation I was pining for so much. And I still have this plate that is too full of things that some of you are getting dropped off and left out. I swear it is not on purpose.
Here is a quick update of things that have been going on. Jade is freaking amazing. Pulling herself up and looking at you like ha, and one day I will be bigger than you too dad. (She has a ways to go) she is to coolest baby ever. Inspiring women of child bearing age everywhere to have one just like her. Good luck. I don’t know if you will be able to her momma is pretty amazing as well.
First father’s day was pretty cool. The girls gave Papi soccer shoes. Don’t play soccer I watch it and now when I watch it I can do it in cleats. Just kidding they are not cleats but I am going to wear them while watching soccer I swear this to you.
First Scott then Zach then Phillip and Now Eli have deserted me. I’ll kill the next friend who moves away. Got that? Yeah that’s right if I cain’t have you aint no body gon’ haven you. If you say that a jealous redneck husband beating on the side of a rusty old truck it really sounds funny. I have a rusty old truck and I have a gun to you sons of bitches and if I have to load another U-Haul it is on. I am kidding but not about being tired of loosing friends to Californiacation
Chris got married Saturday! Congrats Chris and Laura.

Chris and Laura

Big pimppin in the cream colored suit.

Mom and dad came down for a visit and I am still sleep deprived and the Fox logo is burned into the bottom of my TV screen.
Josh and Dara are on their way as we speak to see us and I can’t wait. I have this neighbor guy who was asking about a van with MO plates in my drive way and he was saying oh your family came to visit you a then made this screwed up face. I thought how sad, Here is a older single gay man still very closeted and so objectionable he can’t stand family or any visitors he told me. His house is larger than mine what do you keep in that place Frank, News paper clippings? And way I was like um yeah my family is awesome. He made some joke about Arkansas and I was un-neighborly. I turned around and walked off and while walking away refitted my iPod ear buds and started cutting the lawn again. Of all the nerve; I wanted to say something I wanted to but I kept my cool.
My old Friend Seth found me via twitter. Catching up has been a pleasant experience.
We have two weeks before we move into our new church facilities. 6 years in the works, I am so glad. That is a major understatement. My only regret is that all who started this journey won’t be here to celebrate in this milestone with us. So much hard work has went into this deal, and I think it is all going to be worth the effort.
Um Um what else.
Oh, I have started writing some stupid little shorts. We’ll see. They may see the light of day or the light cathode rays or your computer monitor if you come back to this address.
Ok
And I think that is it. Hasten the arrival of Josh , Dara, Ana, and Colin. I am ready to Party!
Cheers!

I am not having a productive week, and face book has taken up a ton of those little insignificant things that I say on here. Daine is …

READY FOR a day by the pool or something.
I found my self whispering out of the car window at people in town while I was out for lunch. People who were just having a nice day off and enjoying them selves, I would whisper “I wont that” like the lady to her timid husband while uncle Rico unloads Tupperware on them.

I am jealous of Zach and his Disney trip even though that would be near the last of things I would want to do. Go to an amusement park with family.
I love them and all but when think get away I think really getting away from stuff and being out in the wilderness somewhere. Some where when you get home you Google earths it and think how the heck I even got there.
Was that beach really that long, or wow there really wasn’t anything over that next ridge. What ever floats your boat I guess?
The idea of a day where I had nothing to do if I didn’t want would be nice