every year we take a vacation of some sort. every year it takes me a few days to decompress from my normally pretty hectic lifestyle. I can’t just flip a switch and suddenly be in “relax” mode. Remembering back on it now, LaMex was freaking out the first time we vacationed together. I was horrible, setting the temperature to as cold as it will go in the hotel so we get our moneys worth. Wanting to make sure we were up for the free continental breakfast. Back and forth pacing until we could get down to the beach and relax. Then stand there with my fists on my hips looking at the lapping waves as if they were supposed to do something other than just lap. Completely unrelaxed.

This year we are trying something completely different. She and my sister went on vacation 6 months ago and My brother and I are going now. We are vacationing separately. problem is -and i knew this would happen- her vacation was so long ago she feels like she needs another and she is pregnant so of course she deserves it. I usually go for the amenities and shopping a plenty and most importantly a Beach. You know, bad food and good drinks with little para sails in them (Barbie umbrellas-tell me i am not ready to have a girl and I’ll keep proving you wrong, see!). But Josh and I are venturing into the woods and water. I am honestly so scared right now I had trouble going to sleep last night. Probably a diagnosable condition i could get a prescription for, but have a situation and i will think of the absolute worst possible out come in my head. Day Dreaming but not in a “whadda day for a day dream” tweedle Edee, the daydream boy kind of way where everyting turns out to be seen through a rose colored lense and at some point includes a hot girl, sex, a car and food that makes you wanna use the strectch mark oil to keep your belly stretching. No no more sinister; the car crashes the girl dies the sex yeah, not a chance, the food is poisoned and you are forced to eat it. Every thing is bad and horriable. I am growing out of my optimism basically and realizing that the world really is a mean old place. SO, i am scared as poop to go to the woods with my brother. the one point of light, Josh will be there. my best est bud. he is fearless he is driven and he will probably have to spend the first couple of days decompressing too.

So am writing this as a out of office message to all you my faithful readers commenter’s and lurkers alike. I’ll be out for the next week. Pacing back and forth up and down the bank chanting to my self relax relax relax.

So I said that I was going to write about what happened on my Vacation a week after it happened.

The first night we did not do much. The second day was Karina’s Birthday. So we did what she loves to do we went shopping again. Across the street fro our hotel was the BAL Harbor shops all these top of the line designers that are lucky I don’t do what they do for the sheer competitive edge that I possess. I would be in the leather imprint of every well made purse and on the side over every over priced set of sunglasses there would be in the Hollywood eye. I know big head.

No really what is great about a mall like this one is that they don’t have a JC Penny. When a mall has a Penny’s they usually don’t have valet parking. The two don’t mix. And I would much rather the mall I frequent not have a valet because like I said I do like to my own parking and the illegal aliens dressed in nice little suits to make them disappear don’t like to park my FOCUS either. The winning combo is thought where a mall like this fancy pants place also has a GAP. Having been a GAP employee for several years I will tell you they have great sales. But sales and stuffing a 10 into Jesus’ hand to park your 100 grand worth of Bentley, they just don’t go together. (And I am being nice, to get a Bentley for 110k it would either have to be used or wrecked, New the cheapest one you can get Is 147k) And in Miami there are no men my size shopping at this mall. If they are my height they are a 28 waits and gay. Probably doing make up at the MAC store with their face painted like a water lily. The rest of the men who would be my size are not shopping. There is top-notch golf and the beach with all the women to objectify. Why shop? Did I mention that the beach is topless so you have these old nasty German Grandmas are out there looking as if they were the wet nurse to an entire orphanage. So I found jeans my size.

We went to a Cuban restaurant that was so good we went back two more times in the week we were there. Amazing food.

We went to the keys and then drove on out too the end to key west. That was cool. I so would not want to live there. I used to fantasize about Lining in Key West like it was some beach city on the sea. I think there are much better beaches down around Cape Lookout, North Carolina.

So here are some pictures of us on to old vacation. Try not to say “you look like your dad Dainer”. I know it is only in love but it is just not what I want to hear.

And one more thing. On the way to work this morning on NPR, I heard this great African Trio. It was the closest thing to speaking in tongues I have heard in a long time. Since I grew up judging a church services on emotional carbonation it was just the right about not a different language, you know other than Spanish. That is not even foreign anymore, I think I could be “in the flesh” and give a pretty good interpretation.