Today is one of those days when I really do wish I were someone else.
I drove into to work today alone. I thought what it would be like to be in my 1969 Mercedes SL. Ill take mine in brown with powder blue leather.  That would be cool.

Went to the Rehab center to have my shoulder and neck worked on; the office is in west lake. Just about undid all the good adjustment, gawking at a brand new Ferrari California. That would be cool.

A co-worker showed me how to see the insider trading for my company. Oh for that kind of financial freedom. That would be nice.
The matram of “thank you god for what I have been given” is harder said than it will be tomorrow.

It has been one of those weeks already; and by already it is only Tuesday morning.
I am in the middle of my dieting process and all I want is HomeSlice pizza. Scratch that, all I want is food. Any food would do at this point. My little girls Teddy Grahams looked amazing this morning. I mentioned this to someone, that I thought allot about food now. They’re response was “why? oh no why do you do that to yourself?” Um, it is not like I choose cognitively to do it. I would say this is like an addiction and I am trying to get clean.
I feel sorry for all the addicts out there is Internets land, I do.

So for all of us addicts, me and my  food, you and your whatever is ailing you, drugs, sex or rock-n-roll. I am going to have George Harrison pray over us with this little song that will set the mood.

Also this week: News I already knew about & a Healthcare bill I am interested in and want to know more about sans spin from either party.

We have this controversy now with the uber rightwing republicans, who tend to be most of my audience.

Obama! Obama! Just the mention of his name and noses curl, shivers of cold and tingles go down some of your spines.
Meh, lets try it on me.  Obama! When I say it I don’t think “Oh my God I have got to get out of here!” anymore than I did when Bush was at the helm. However, SS Clinton needs to get on the horn with Benjamin Netanyahu and make sure he knows we love them Jew Boys. No matter how dumb it is that they are jacking with the Middle East peace process from Obama’s perspective. We love you ‘Gods Chosen peeps’ and we would love to think that we are also ‘chosen peeps” by association! Please smile on us as we criticize you!

There were pro-Palestinian rallies in Austin Last week. Almost didn’t make the news. An Israeli band played and people threw things like rocks and insults. WTF! I am sorry, This is my town, you don’t throw rocks. Insults; fine especially if your music sucked! Of cores it didn’t suck but it is cool for you to have that opinion! I mean everyone knows Klezmer Jew rock kicks butt! The church neighbor shouts insults every Sunday morning just about.

It is all fun and games till someone gets an eye put out I am telling you.

(Hand in the air like I don’t want to hear your rebuttal … but of cores I do.
Here is one of the bands from Jerusalem ISRAEL that just played SXSW. Orphaned Land (my dad does this thing when you can tell he is not sold on something, he stretches out the skin between his nose and the top of his lip and says ”Interesting”.. can you see me doing that right now?)

The phone lines are open comment away.
Ok first caller…

You know when someone else thinks ‘out loud’ what you have been thinking in your head?

Is it wrong to re-post what they said, but you also thought? I am going to go with no.

The funniest bit of the piece, the last line .

The place I saw saying out loud also thought it was sexists. Ehh whatever – everything is sexists so get over it right.
Over sensitivity has made the world both a better and a more … well, sensitive place.
So re-tweet and that is better than what I would have originally thought to call this (re-twat) and really it is just that i think this ad is funny.

So this Elvis 75^th birthday party me lady and I were to attend the other night was awesome. Christy Zimmerman Medina thought our last picture was sacrilegious. I don’t know what she has against Jesus but i think he’d be good looking if he looked like Jesus. in reality he was probably more brown.

Don’t ask her about it thought she was home by choice with a sick baby. She urged me to keep the date and take Curt with me. I did we had a blast. Subsequently I have been listening to Chulahoma,

the album of Junior Kimbrough covers by the Black Keys ever since.If you do not own this i would recommend that you run out and buy it before you buy the new what ever it is you all are listening to these days.

Also, I played Sweet Caroline” the Elvis version in the Buzz Sunday. All is well that ends well. And the night ended expensive but we were all well. Curt and I had a flat, got a cab home and got the funniest look ever when i said to a lady “we’re together” and she misunderstood. i meant same tab not like “together in the biblical sense.

doing U2 Vertigo Sunday 12-06-09

vertigo

I hate it when I am affected. When I am stressed and want to punch a freaking hole in the wall, or when I am fully aware that I have too much on my plate or it hits me I need to be a responsible person and all I really want to do is selfish stuff I don’t have time for; one of two things always tends to happen. Either I will crack to the ego be a man, be all hard, say something I’ll regret as soon as it has left my lips, OR I’ll feel the pressure know I need to deal with it, not deal with it hear a sappy song and cry.
I have been trying to be strong, trying to ward off feeling of wanting to quit wanting to give up, wanting to pack my bags and head for the ‘Ozark’ hills even though I know there is nothing there for me. Trying to please the list of people I want to think highly of me. Trying to be a good husband, Papi, friend, employee, volunteer, citizen, driver, drummer, leader, energy conserver, home owner, decision maker, recruiter, spreadsheet compiler, and graphic designer all while watching my portions and sugar intake. I feel like I am failing at least 50% of my list at least 50% of the time. The one thing I am afraid of is failing. I know I haven’t been given more than I can bear, just not very good at asking for help. Not help from any of you; I am talking over you now.
So sitting at my desk this morning, not well, I asked for something. Some release, a sappy song, some Celine Dion, Some help. Please give me something to help me push through this most stressful of weeks.
Get ready to hear Zach laughing all the way from Santa B.
OK so Mercy Me has this song I heard while shopping at Marshalls for nothing the other day.
Watch the video and then picture me feeling sorry for myself with my office door closed having what I like to refer to as a shower moment. As in – get out of here I am cleaning myself and there is nothing flattering about this.
Have a good laugh. I feel better.

I believe in being myself and being real and letting the chips fall where they may. Not on the carpet because they can leave grease spots. I like individuality, but I’d still buy a silver Toyota and blend into the fray. Maybe even listen to the Fray. I’d say buy American but I wouldn’t. I moved away and the idea of disappearing and not disappointing was so refreshing. No one knows D.C. here and expects me to be him. HA jokes on me. The islands are looking more appealing all the time. that is not a threat. i don’t threaten. it is just an observation.

I hate feeling sick to my stomach over the thought i have let you down.

So I swear I am going to start some blogging again.
My lasts two posts I went back and read and good lord I seem to be depressed.
I swear I am not.
I still have not had that vacation I was pining for so much. And I still have this plate that is too full of things that some of you are getting dropped off and left out. I swear it is not on purpose.
Here is a quick update of things that have been going on. Jade is freaking amazing. Pulling herself up and looking at you like ha, and one day I will be bigger than you too dad. (She has a ways to go) she is to coolest baby ever. Inspiring women of child bearing age everywhere to have one just like her. Good luck. I don’t know if you will be able to her momma is pretty amazing as well.
First father’s day was pretty cool. The girls gave Papi soccer shoes. Don’t play soccer I watch it and now when I watch it I can do it in cleats. Just kidding they are not cleats but I am going to wear them while watching soccer I swear this to you.
First Scott then Zach then Phillip and Now Eli have deserted me. I’ll kill the next friend who moves away. Got that? Yeah that’s right if I cain’t have you aint no body gon’ haven you. If you say that a jealous redneck husband beating on the side of a rusty old truck it really sounds funny. I have a rusty old truck and I have a gun to you sons of bitches and if I have to load another U-Haul it is on. I am kidding but not about being tired of loosing friends to Californiacation
Chris got married Saturday! Congrats Chris and Laura.

Chris and Laura

Big pimppin in the cream colored suit.

Mom and dad came down for a visit and I am still sleep deprived and the Fox logo is burned into the bottom of my TV screen.
Josh and Dara are on their way as we speak to see us and I can’t wait. I have this neighbor guy who was asking about a van with MO plates in my drive way and he was saying oh your family came to visit you a then made this screwed up face. I thought how sad, Here is a older single gay man still very closeted and so objectionable he can’t stand family or any visitors he told me. His house is larger than mine what do you keep in that place Frank, News paper clippings? And way I was like um yeah my family is awesome. He made some joke about Arkansas and I was un-neighborly. I turned around and walked off and while walking away refitted my iPod ear buds and started cutting the lawn again. Of all the nerve; I wanted to say something I wanted to but I kept my cool.
My old Friend Seth found me via twitter. Catching up has been a pleasant experience.
We have two weeks before we move into our new church facilities. 6 years in the works, I am so glad. That is a major understatement. My only regret is that all who started this journey won’t be here to celebrate in this milestone with us. So much hard work has went into this deal, and I think it is all going to be worth the effort.
Um Um what else.
Oh, I have started writing some stupid little shorts. We’ll see. They may see the light of day or the light cathode rays or your computer monitor if you come back to this address.
Ok
And I think that is it. Hasten the arrival of Josh , Dara, Ana, and Colin. I am ready to Party!
Cheers!

I am not having a productive week, and face book has taken up a ton of those little insignificant things that I say on here. Daine is …

READY FOR a day by the pool or something.
I found my self whispering out of the car window at people in town while I was out for lunch. People who were just having a nice day off and enjoying them selves, I would whisper “I wont that” like the lady to her timid husband while uncle Rico unloads Tupperware on them.

I am jealous of Zach and his Disney trip even though that would be near the last of things I would want to do. Go to an amusement park with family.
I love them and all but when think get away I think really getting away from stuff and being out in the wilderness somewhere. Some where when you get home you Google earths it and think how the heck I even got there.
Was that beach really that long, or wow there really wasn’t anything over that next ridge. What ever floats your boat I guess?
The idea of a day where I had nothing to do if I didn’t want would be nice