This is not my Christmas list. I have not been this good.

My Grandpa Branham had a truck like this I don’t know if his was a 65 or a 66 but I am pretty sure I need one. That relaxed sense of self awareness just goes with a vehicle like this. It is not for commuting in or driving in the city.
It is for topping out at 60mph and pulling on the hard shoulder to let people pass.

30stick humidor that is a water tight otter box. Win win, and when you decide cigars are bogus, you have a cool hand gun case and when you get your gun rights swiped, even though you said “Swipper no swiping” you have a cool humidor again.

Grandpa also had a hat like this. Yeah I want one. I am a grandpa kick.

I hate it when I am affected. When I am stressed and want to punch a freaking hole in the wall, or when I am fully aware that I have too much on my plate or it hits me I need to be a responsible person and all I really want to do is selfish stuff I don’t have time for; one of two things always tends to happen. Either I will crack to the ego be a man, be all hard, say something I’ll regret as soon as it has left my lips, OR I’ll feel the pressure know I need to deal with it, not deal with it hear a sappy song and cry.
I have been trying to be strong, trying to ward off feeling of wanting to quit wanting to give up, wanting to pack my bags and head for the ‘Ozark’ hills even though I know there is nothing there for me. Trying to please the list of people I want to think highly of me. Trying to be a good husband, Papi, friend, employee, volunteer, citizen, driver, drummer, leader, energy conserver, home owner, decision maker, recruiter, spreadsheet compiler, and graphic designer all while watching my portions and sugar intake. I feel like I am failing at least 50% of my list at least 50% of the time. The one thing I am afraid of is failing. I know I haven’t been given more than I can bear, just not very good at asking for help. Not help from any of you; I am talking over you now.
So sitting at my desk this morning, not well, I asked for something. Some release, a sappy song, some Celine Dion, Some help. Please give me something to help me push through this most stressful of weeks.
Get ready to hear Zach laughing all the way from Santa B.
OK so Mercy Me has this song I heard while shopping at Marshalls for nothing the other day.
Watch the video and then picture me feeling sorry for myself with my office door closed having what I like to refer to as a shower moment. As in – get out of here I am cleaning myself and there is nothing flattering about this.
Have a good laugh. I feel better.

My lovely wife and daughter came back Sunday night after being at Abuelita’s the better part of a week.
Sunday was also her 31st birthday. Isaac went with me to pick up her birthday present and made me laugh. The gift was a hit and as is my every so often I brought her flowers yesterday. One attorney from the office swears I am having an affair.  Don’t worry it isn’t her boss.
I just shake my head. We were talking about affairs and the people that have them the other day and then thinking about what type a person you generally have an affair with. See we recently had a rash of breakups amongst us. Some per Affair and some per Um now is better than affair later with kids and single parent-dom.  It has me thinking if I were to have an unfaithful disloyal bone in my body (not a pun). What type of person would she be? So I made a list of what I am looking for. So here goes. Um well first I’d pretty much want her to be awesome for it to be worth it. She’d have to love Jade. She’d have to like my Mom and Dad and if she was friends with my sister that would be cool too. And Spanish, that would be a big plus. She has to let me be myself. I have a balance now so yeah I’ll still need that, so someone with a level head to keep me from spending all my money on Propane and propane accessories’. And she’d have to be pretty astounding on like six or seven different levels that I can’t really discuss in mixed company. I’d also like her to be about 5’3ish and sorry blondes I am into Brownies so um yeah… looks like id choose one pretty much just like I already have. So I’ll save myself the trouble of bothering to go there and do that and catch that!
It is sad when a guy can’t be in love and show it for fear of being accused of unfaithfulness.  I say buy her flowers and treat her like you treat your momma if you treat your momma nice.
Sop up all this love slobber with this video!

I believe in being myself and being real and letting the chips fall where they may. Not on the carpet because they can leave grease spots. I like individuality, but I’d still buy a silver Toyota and blend into the fray. Maybe even listen to the Fray. I’d say buy American but I wouldn’t. I moved away and the idea of disappearing and not disappointing was so refreshing. No one knows D.C. here and expects me to be him. HA jokes on me. The islands are looking more appealing all the time. that is not a threat. i don’t threaten. it is just an observation.

I hate feeling sick to my stomach over the thought i have let you down.

So I swear I am going to start some blogging again.
My lasts two posts I went back and read and good lord I seem to be depressed.
I swear I am not.
I still have not had that vacation I was pining for so much. And I still have this plate that is too full of things that some of you are getting dropped off and left out. I swear it is not on purpose.
Here is a quick update of things that have been going on. Jade is freaking amazing. Pulling herself up and looking at you like ha, and one day I will be bigger than you too dad. (She has a ways to go) she is to coolest baby ever. Inspiring women of child bearing age everywhere to have one just like her. Good luck. I don’t know if you will be able to her momma is pretty amazing as well.
First father’s day was pretty cool. The girls gave Papi soccer shoes. Don’t play soccer I watch it and now when I watch it I can do it in cleats. Just kidding they are not cleats but I am going to wear them while watching soccer I swear this to you.
First Scott then Zach then Phillip and Now Eli have deserted me. I’ll kill the next friend who moves away. Got that? Yeah that’s right if I cain’t have you aint no body gon’ haven you. If you say that a jealous redneck husband beating on the side of a rusty old truck it really sounds funny. I have a rusty old truck and I have a gun to you sons of bitches and if I have to load another U-Haul it is on. I am kidding but not about being tired of loosing friends to Californiacation
Chris got married Saturday! Congrats Chris and Laura.

Chris and Laura

Big pimppin in the cream colored suit.

Mom and dad came down for a visit and I am still sleep deprived and the Fox logo is burned into the bottom of my TV screen.
Josh and Dara are on their way as we speak to see us and I can’t wait. I have this neighbor guy who was asking about a van with MO plates in my drive way and he was saying oh your family came to visit you a then made this screwed up face. I thought how sad, Here is a older single gay man still very closeted and so objectionable he can’t stand family or any visitors he told me. His house is larger than mine what do you keep in that place Frank, News paper clippings? And way I was like um yeah my family is awesome. He made some joke about Arkansas and I was un-neighborly. I turned around and walked off and while walking away refitted my iPod ear buds and started cutting the lawn again. Of all the nerve; I wanted to say something I wanted to but I kept my cool.
My old Friend Seth found me via twitter. Catching up has been a pleasant experience.
We have two weeks before we move into our new church facilities. 6 years in the works, I am so glad. That is a major understatement. My only regret is that all who started this journey won’t be here to celebrate in this milestone with us. So much hard work has went into this deal, and I think it is all going to be worth the effort.
Um Um what else.
Oh, I have started writing some stupid little shorts. We’ll see. They may see the light of day or the light cathode rays or your computer monitor if you come back to this address.
Ok
And I think that is it. Hasten the arrival of Josh , Dara, Ana, and Colin. I am ready to Party!
Cheers!

I am not having a productive week, and face book has taken up a ton of those little insignificant things that I say on here. Daine is …

READY FOR a day by the pool or something.
I found my self whispering out of the car window at people in town while I was out for lunch. People who were just having a nice day off and enjoying them selves, I would whisper “I wont that” like the lady to her timid husband while uncle Rico unloads Tupperware on them.

I am jealous of Zach and his Disney trip even though that would be near the last of things I would want to do. Go to an amusement park with family.
I love them and all but when think get away I think really getting away from stuff and being out in the wilderness somewhere. Some where when you get home you Google earths it and think how the heck I even got there.
Was that beach really that long, or wow there really wasn’t anything over that next ridge. What ever floats your boat I guess?
The idea of a day where I had nothing to do if I didn’t want would be nice

Want to see something really cool?
Of course you do.

My friends James and Elizabeth do some amazing freeze frame action and they captured the sweetness that is my baby.
Let’s just say you live in Central Texas and you want some pictures don’t say I never told you who to go to. I mean just look at my girls wow so hot. And to think people I live with these ladies. See; I need a son to help bring the universe back into balance. Alas, it will stay lopsided for a while hopefully.

Check out their site or here to see more.

vignettephoto.com

oh my lord, the lady down the halls perfume is so so strong i can smell it from here and my head is already killing me and this smell on top of it is making me feel nauseous.

We took Little to the sitter . i am a little bit in a quandary of what to call her. It is not daycare cause my kid joins hers and no one else s, it is not like a nanny, because that kind of sounds condescending i think, i don’t know rich people are who have nannies, And Honey if you aint figured this one out I aint rich. but i need a name for her. i think maybe “Super mom” might work. it doesn’t feel weird anyway.

so here is a picture of Little on her way to the Super Moms this morning. isn’t she sweet?

maybe in 20/20 hindsight she should have went with this dress more often.

so i am so glad this is all over. Zach we can take down the banners now the quiet protest is over.

now i am have to worry about the Christmas tree and getting it up before the family comes for Thankschristmasing. i have like 20 other things i want to get done between know and then too i need to wash the house and the fence and stain and seal the fence. Get the Honda out of the garage and into the shop to get fixed and tagged and rolling. and get the Mini back, maybe buy a used Saab and give the Tank back to its owner and get Gus into the garage for an oil change and the lights on the house and i have 20 days to do all this in. OK it might not all get done. First things first. i wanna get something done to the fence. this week. Hear that babe? ok and i wanna stop drinking soda. except when i NEED it.

CHEERS!  and dont grieve to much, my dear republican friends, nothing is ever gonna really change, that is just the way it is somethings never change, (insert bruce hornsby piano riff) and it dont matter if we have a black man or an old man a chick, or a chick with a gun on the run in the big house we are supposed to pray for them just the same.

well i cant believe it but it is finally happening. Our friends and Neighbors and countrymen Justin and Amanda are in the Hospital working on Chase their little man. we were all kind of in this pregnant boat together so it will be cool to finally meet this little guy.

We have been doing everything in our power to persuade him out.

Jade cried all evening last night to get him here and wore herself out she went out at 10.30pm after i gave her a bath and slept until 6.30am.

We have eaten Pepperoni Pizza and yesterday evening with perfect fall south Texas weather we went on a little ride around their ranch looking at these animals more commonly seen in Africa riding on an old unimog Mercedes, stinking cool truck but bouncy. about half way through i looked back at Amanda and said maybe the bumps will help the little man come out.

So Chase isnt here yet but cant be long now.