This is not my Christmas list. I have not been this good.

My Grandpa Branham had a truck like this I don’t know if his was a 65 or a 66 but I am pretty sure I need one. That relaxed sense of self awareness just goes with a vehicle like this. It is not for commuting in or driving in the city.
It is for topping out at 60mph and pulling on the hard shoulder to let people pass.

30stick humidor that is a water tight otter box. Win win, and when you decide cigars are bogus, you have a cool hand gun case and when you get your gun rights swiped, even though you said “Swipper no swiping” you have a cool humidor again.

Grandpa also had a hat like this. Yeah I want one. I am a grandpa kick.

Check out my last few songs of play list.
George Strait ‘if I know me’
Clay Walker ‘this woman this man’
Tracy Lawrence ‘if you loved me’
Diamond Rio ‘Love a little stronger’
Alan Jackson ‘tonight I climbed the wall’
Mark Collie ‘Something’s Gonna Change Her Mind’
Clint Black ‘burn one down’
Toby Keith ‘ wish I didn’t know now’
George Straight ‘ I can still make Cheyenne
Clint Black ‘loving blind’
Other stuff Sammy Kershaw, Neil McCoy Brooks and Dunn…
Then throw in P.M. Dawn’s ‘I’d die without you’ Random.
Wow, what a morning.
I hear these songs and I am instantly transported back in time say 1996-97. I miss Lara ‘the queen’ and ‘Shiny-white-Reeboks’ Josh, Lisa, my pretty girl friend with the cool dolphin sticker on her red Nissan, Billy bob Joe Jackson something something jr. aka Bill, Jake and his red truck,. You are all still my friends too, but you are all better looking now.
I remember fondly working at Pizza Hut, delivering people’s pizza before they could blink twice. I had the best car ever, my Nissan Sentra SE-R. Once I lent it to Bubba (Otis Lee for you outsiders) to take someone out to supper. I had to drive his old Chevy truck. I lost money that night I had to put gas in it twice. I remember thinking that the long horn sticker on the back made it look even cooler. Now that I live in Austin and everyone except me has a long horn on their car, not so much.
Funny thing is, as warm as my memories are of this period, I would not like to go back there and relive any of it.
Love you all
MDB

I hate it when I am affected. When I am stressed and want to punch a freaking hole in the wall, or when I am fully aware that I have too much on my plate or it hits me I need to be a responsible person and all I really want to do is selfish stuff I don’t have time for; one of two things always tends to happen. Either I will crack to the ego be a man, be all hard, say something I’ll regret as soon as it has left my lips, OR I’ll feel the pressure know I need to deal with it, not deal with it hear a sappy song and cry.
I have been trying to be strong, trying to ward off feeling of wanting to quit wanting to give up, wanting to pack my bags and head for the ‘Ozark’ hills even though I know there is nothing there for me. Trying to please the list of people I want to think highly of me. Trying to be a good husband, Papi, friend, employee, volunteer, citizen, driver, drummer, leader, energy conserver, home owner, decision maker, recruiter, spreadsheet compiler, and graphic designer all while watching my portions and sugar intake. I feel like I am failing at least 50% of my list at least 50% of the time. The one thing I am afraid of is failing. I know I haven’t been given more than I can bear, just not very good at asking for help. Not help from any of you; I am talking over you now.
So sitting at my desk this morning, not well, I asked for something. Some release, a sappy song, some Celine Dion, Some help. Please give me something to help me push through this most stressful of weeks.
Get ready to hear Zach laughing all the way from Santa B.
OK so Mercy Me has this song I heard while shopping at Marshalls for nothing the other day.
Watch the video and then picture me feeling sorry for myself with my office door closed having what I like to refer to as a shower moment. As in – get out of here I am cleaning myself and there is nothing flattering about this.
Have a good laugh. I feel better.

I believe in being myself and being real and letting the chips fall where they may. Not on the carpet because they can leave grease spots. I like individuality, but I’d still buy a silver Toyota and blend into the fray. Maybe even listen to the Fray. I’d say buy American but I wouldn’t. I moved away and the idea of disappearing and not disappointing was so refreshing. No one knows D.C. here and expects me to be him. HA jokes on me. The islands are looking more appealing all the time. that is not a threat. i don’t threaten. it is just an observation.

I hate feeling sick to my stomach over the thought i have let you down.

I am not having a productive week, and face book has taken up a ton of those little insignificant things that I say on here. Daine is …

READY FOR a day by the pool or something.
I found my self whispering out of the car window at people in town while I was out for lunch. People who were just having a nice day off and enjoying them selves, I would whisper “I wont that” like the lady to her timid husband while uncle Rico unloads Tupperware on them.

I am jealous of Zach and his Disney trip even though that would be near the last of things I would want to do. Go to an amusement park with family.
I love them and all but when think get away I think really getting away from stuff and being out in the wilderness somewhere. Some where when you get home you Google earths it and think how the heck I even got there.
Was that beach really that long, or wow there really wasn’t anything over that next ridge. What ever floats your boat I guess?
The idea of a day where I had nothing to do if I didn’t want would be nice

I need something but I don’t know what.
I am having one of those times where everything is going fine and then one small insignificant thing will piss me off. Or I’ll be doing fine and then I’ll do some thing and piss some one else off.
I must have a problem. Oh and what is weird is the same people are the ones continually who spark this frustration.
I can’t do anything about it either if I say something chances are slim it would be in the right spirit and taken as well. I think I need a vacation. My shoulders are all bunched up, and I feel like so much less of a person due to this problem. I can’t tell any one about it specifically only you my dear readers in vast swaths of ambiguity.

I love you all even when I am breaking my teeth clamping down on my leather coaster.

I know i am being mocked right ow by some of my inner possy. Do I care? Heck no.

I am getting old with the band and No i dont think this is thier Hyms album that already happened. Remember all that you cant leave behind? Might as well have been Carman sining “I surrender all”.

Have you ever been excited and then totally bummed about something at once?
My baby is getting big and that is so cool but at the same time wait She is getting big and not going to be the baby before too much longer.
The New U2 album comes out today . Sweet one of the best days of the month id not the quarter if not the year in my “Velveeta is still cheese and good cheese at that” opinion. SO my sister sends me the link of the album on Amazon for 3.99 and that is awesome, but what I really want is the deluxe version on itunes with the hour long movie! Hello 17.99 and not only is that the one I want but I want that one in a hard copy with all the packaging. I am such a dork I know but that is even going to cost me more. So for what I could have for 4 bucks I am going to have to part with 20 more to get the little extras. Drat.
My neck is out. I had a car crash and have suffered for it dearly. The Chiropractor is helping but it hurts to go but I feel better after I have been.
It also cost money now that I am supposed to get back on the settlement I hope that happens. And I went yesterday and got all fixed and then sneezed and it was all undone. I really had a big sneeze. Now I am in pain waiting till I can go get hurt and give hi more money so ill feel better and hopefully get that money back someday and this time I am going to try not to sneeze!
Last thing I can think of on this note.
Google maps is doing their street view pics. I am excited
I keep checking my neighbor hood to see if they are up yet.
And this morning guess what? We are there. Except it is from like a year ago and the plumber was at my house due to some leaks we were having. His big truck was in front of the house, and there are two houses next door to us since, no it has to be like almost a year and a half ago that there were taken there are houses all around us now. And I was home with the plumber in the middle of the day so both cars are in the drive way and the garage door is open and we look like real red necks and we are so not that would be every one else on the street. But you can see our place and Gus and Anderson and the disgrace of a dirty garage that I swear I have since cleaned all up and organized. Oh and Karina’s old 93 civic is in there dead waiting to go to place where dead Honda’s go too. Man and the trash can is out and not even been picked up yet.
I wish I could have them come back and redo the picture. STINK.

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Want to see something really cool?
Of course you do.

My friends James and Elizabeth do some amazing freeze frame action and they captured the sweetness that is my baby.
Let’s just say you live in Central Texas and you want some pictures don’t say I never told you who to go to. I mean just look at my girls wow so hot. And to think people I live with these ladies. See; I need a son to help bring the universe back into balance. Alas, it will stay lopsided for a while hopefully.

Check out their site or here to see more.

vignettephoto.com

OK this is an old post that I never posted from Christmas or Dec 27^th and my rule is that if it smells bad don’t eat it and if it is too dry don’t try to smoke it and if it is more than a month old don’t post it. So I am sliding this one in.

So we are flying home from California from Christmas and man I ever glad it is over. Jade has done pretty well on the flight. Right now she is holding onto her mommy’s necklace. So cute. I am listening to pinks new song “sober” thanking god I was somehow spared her life. The tag is “how do I feel this good sober?” Instead of living from one high to the next I love this life some of you would think is so gaud awful boring. no high highs but no severe lows either. I suppose right now would be one of the higher points. I am flying over some of the prettiest scenery. And I remembered my headphones and there is a demon child behind us. I am blessed with a good little traveler. Someone just gave their 6 dollar Asian chicken wrap back to the stewardess and said it was bad. She smelt it I’m like “oh no just give his money back.”
I am wondering how fun it would be to do a day in the life if post complete with pics and videos. Maybe if a bunch of us did this at once. Mrs. Vida Sara & Sarah fish Zach maybe even.
Jade is cutting her two first teeth and is a process that sucks. She is miserable. And I know what would make her feel better but I am Sure CPS could take her away and lock me up for administering rum soaked leather coasters as chew toys. Hey and for the record I have a friend who was teethed using this method and she is normal. Well pretty normal. Huh sis?
This coming week is going to be a blast though.  Jade and I hanging out and she is teething I can think of a couple of other alternative ways to spend my week that may be less stressful.
So for those of you about to try traveling with an infant in a car seat and stroller you have to un-strap the kiddo and put all that seat stroller madness through the TSA belt. I pinched the snot out of two of my fingers trying to fold the stroller they are still throbbing I pinched them that hard.

-ok, let me interject into my own here. I think I royally screwed my finger, two weeks later and it is still swollen and sore.-

Oh and the week with jade and I watching her was one of the longest ever and we finally got the mini back and then I took it back and they fixed some other things and we got it back and all has been well for a couple of days now with it.

It is not the easiest car to cart a baby around in but she loves it. It is so rough and bumpy and the road noise is so loud it puts her right to sleep.